It has been a year and two months since I wrote here… or wrote anything “creative” for myself and an imaginary audience for that matter. My journal/diary now mostly consists of quotes from an astrology counselling podcast I listen to religiously and messy to-do lists. I still do bursts of reviews on Instagram story and I made a separate account for its archives and further elaborate takes when my mutable stellium ass is again up for it, but nothing that I can call my own–something that I made that doesn’t have to greatly rely on having formally trained personal opinions on other pieces of work, haha.
A lot has happened since then, as one’s life tend to do so. And I thought of different topics that could nicely fit in this tiny corner of the vast space for strangers. But for some reason, maybe because of the nature of intentionality of any “creative” act, writing those nice topics become less of an act and more of a task. Perfection paralysis is a dick.
I am starting small to break through this dickery. I miss writing. I’m kind of pissed that I let the joy of it be taken from me (one of the topics I was hoping to write about, by the way) so I tried to change my blog theme. I am not satisfied with this new look, but the small step was to leave the look that screamed of who I was half a decade ago. Heh.
Another small step is this survey I got from the talented Jolens (who honestly I hope will never stop blogging). I enjoyed surveys like this during Friendster days. They were half writing prompt, half excuse para magkalat. But we are now older millennials (imsosry) so I hope I already learned a thing or two about prudence and discretion.
Have you ever turned down someone you liked?
No, they were all creepy.
When was the last time you were at a loss of what to do?
Every waking moment.
The last time you let someone go, was it to make yourself happy or them?
When I break off things with anyone, it usually means I have finally rationalized to myself that I am not good for them.
Who was the last person that could tell something was wrong with you?
A long-time friend I met from a writing workshop in the early 2000’s.
Anything bad happen today?
I burned my thumb.
Have you ever thought about online dating? If so, were you desperate?
I met my partner through an online dating app. There are only really few ways to meet people from the little bubble I had back then, and dear lord that bubble is just……. blah. HAHA. Anyway, online dating apps are exhausting, with short conversations ranging from dry to just wtf. My favorite part about it, however: it was acceptable for people to upload a lot of their selfies. LMAO. Thanks online dating apps for making me feel pretty. It was fun while it lasted.
Do you try not to take a lot of medicine or do you take it whenever?
Yeah, I refrain doing so because I am already taking a lot for my uterus.
Are you ever scared of people reading your survey answers?
Right now, no.
Do you like cuddling with someone you like?
I am physcially affectionate in a romantic relationship. If I can, I’d be sitting on my partner’s lap all the time. But I’ll crush him, so…
What did you do last night?
I was feeling sickly last night. I was either just lying in bed or playing Mobile Legends.
How frequently do you get fed up of doing a survey and give up before you finish it?
I don’t think I ever *not* finished answering surveys like this.
Who did you last ride in a car with besides family?
Did you ever join a gym to look hot and get back at an ex bf/gf?
I once bought a “revenge dress” to get back at an ex. Our early 20’s, amirite?
Would you ever go back to your most recent ex?
Has an adult ever allowed you to smoke a cigarette?
My mom once got mad at me for having a pack of cigarette in my drawer, which was just something a friend left in my bag. This is all hazy memory though. I’m not sure if it’s really my friend’s or if it actually happened to begin with.
Run your tongue over your teeth. What do they feel like?
Does crying mean that you’re weak or you’re just expressing grief?
I cry all the damn time so I don’t even know what it means at this point.
Wait, I forgot to ask! How are you feeling today?
I’m not feeling as sickly as I was yesterday. Gargling salt is something I really recommend.