It’s been a really long time since I found new good music to obsess over. The ones I’d get up from bed for at 2 am in the morning just to tell the world how happy I am with it.
Because, really, the music that have been saving me recently are either crappy or mediocre. I remember going through a break-up and finding comfort in Cobra Starship’s Good Girls Go Bad, Mike Posner’s Please Don’t Go, ALL Avril Lavigne songs, and Katy Perry’s Firework. Not that I didn’t listen to “good” music at that time too, or that I couldn’t defend the quality I found in those I’ve listed (except maybe Good Girls Go Bad, I’m not sure I can twist something grand out of it, it’s just really my favorite porn song… and I do mean literally PORN) it’s just that these types of music are the ones I get easily tired of, but I just put it on repeat because they’re the easiest songs to sing along too. Kind of like, having regular casual sex. You do it because it’s easy, not because it actually means something. Although, in a way, it kinds of save you from killing yourself as you do it to fill this empty void in your heart–but not really. You know, just to have someone for the night.
I don’t regret it, of course. I have long stopped trying to be literate in music. And sleeping with one pop song to another led me to Sara Bareilles, Ingrid Michaelson, and Adele. And those experiences felt good. Cathartic, even. But they were more like the Dresden Dolls, Stars, and My Chemical Romance (fourth album) during that period after I met Bright Eyes/Conor Oberst. They have wonderful lyrics, lovely concepts, moving tunes, I absolutely adore them and clumsily play the guitar with them, but they don’t fully understand this void I’ve been living in. They help, of course. They have two or three songs in the album, however American-ly they are, that make me go, “Hey, that’s my problem.” But sometimes, it stops there. Most of the time, it stops at their heartbreaking love songs.
Patrick Stump’s Soul Punk, to be chauvinistic about it, is that one girl I’ve been looking for that somehow drove me to sleep with those other girls in my quest for it. I can talk about my love life with Soul Punk, but at the same time, I can talk about other aspects of my life too. Most importantly, using a different story and a different life, it talks about this shit I’m going through and what it thinks I need to do about it. Thus, one, I feel that I’m not just talking to someone who mirrors my interest, but to an actual person with an own identity and we just happen to be at the same point in our lives right now. Two, he offers an escape route from all this shit and this escape route actually makes sense: fuck life, let’s dance.
I’m still not sure if this is my new My Chemical Romance or Bright Eyes of this period, although it’s starting to feel like it. Plus, this wordy post might just be summarized into, I <3 Patrick Stump! He totally gets me! fangirl-ing which I’m not really sure if that’s inaccurate. But if it is, kebs. If this is stage three of my puberty, then it’s better to have something to dance the blues away.
Some people fade like evening
Some just never go away
But there’s simply no place safer than the bank the day after the robbery
So you wake to grab the paper
Sip your coffee too much grind
You don’t so much mind the aging
You just mind the getting wise
– Bad Side of 25, Patrick Stump