Cognitive Dissonance


I threw up right after I threw the door open.

It did not even give me time to put my other arm into my jacket’s sleeve. My head dropped, my hair flew. And then I barfed.

I could feel the hot bile swimming up my throat. My stomach contracted as I held on the cold metal doorknob for dear life. I could feel your eyes boring into my back. The hallway was filled with yellow light, a surreal demarcation of the room’s insides of red. The light was calling to me. I wanted to go, to run. But saliva and the past hour’s dinner had other things in mind. They were too busy tracing the paths towards the opening of my mouth.


My chest was heaving. You reached for my breasts but I slapped your hand away. I tried to smile, to tell you I was being coy, but to grunt was the best I could do. So, I hitched my skirt further up my waist and started rocking back and forth. I could feel your length tracing my insides. They were bumping the right walls, pulling them apart–properly of course–and they were as hard as I remembered. Harder now, actually. And I was keen on engulfing that hardness as I leaned forward, pressing my own hard nipples into your cold chest. You gave a grunt of your own. You grabbed my shoulders and pressed me down as hard as you could. You shoved your hips upwards and the force almost knocked my senses out the dingy red-lit window.

I did the best I could in that situation. I licked the crevice between your neck and shoulder, and I bit it as hard as I could.

But you liked that. You liked the little rip off your skin and the wet folds that was showering your shaft, now just teasing its head. I bucked my hips, licked the little wound I made, and whispered into your ears, I just fucked you hard you worthless piece of shit. You almost came inside me but I got off you just in time. I kept kneeling over you, straddling you but not really. I played with myself and you could smell me down from where you were, a bit confused and aware that I would slap your hands  again if you tried to help me rub myself.

Your hardness was still hard, though, still waiting for my attention. But I was too busy tracing circles between my thighs.

I could feel it, oh god, oh god, that was good. I caught a glimpse of your head… your other head.

I sighed. I came. Spasm after spasm.


I licked my lips. “What’s your name again?”

You smiled. You bowed a little. Your eyes were shifting sideways, like a little rodent looking for a way out.

I laughed. “I was just joking.”

“I didn’t think I’d see you around here.”

I felt like I couldn’t stop laughing. But I managed to. “I didn’t either.”

“How… have you been?”

It was my turn to smile. I bowed a little and stammered a bit. I remembered that used to turn you on. “I just had dinner.”

Without missing a beat, I placed a hand on your arm and asked how you have been.


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